#RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage

And what that madness produces is nothing that matters.

• It doesn’t grow trust.
• It doesn’t build intimacy.
• It doesn’t bring clarity.

What it does is bury the very things that need to come to the surface.

• The hurt beneath the anger
• The fear beneath the frustration
• The longing beneath the silence

When we match the madness, we cover up what’s real with what’s reactive. We trade depth for volume. And the stuff that actually needs to be revealed and refined — the places where God is trying to do His deepest work in us and between us — stays buried under the rubble of words we didn’t mean and tones we can’t take back.

Proverbs 15:1 tells us, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Notice it doesn’t say a correct answer turns away wrath. It says a gentle one. You can be absolutely right in what you’re saying and absolutely wrong in how you’re saying it.

Gentleness isn’t weakness. It’s warfare, the kind that fights for your marriage instead of against your spouse.

So what does it look like, practically, to not match the madness?

It looks like a pause before a response. It looks like lowering your voice when everything inside you wants to raise it. It looks like choosing the person over the point.

James 1:19 reminds us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”

That’s one of the most intentional, powerful things you can do in the heat of a hard moment.

When you choose not to match the madness, you aren’t losing. You’re leading. You’re saying, This marriage matters more than this moment. You’re creating space for the Holy Spirit to move in a room where pride was trying to take up all the oxygen.

So the next time it gets a little crazy — and it will, because you’re two imperfect people doing this beautifully imperfect thing together — ask yourself: Am I about to match the madness, or am I about to break the cycle?

Choose the cycle-breaker every time.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Break the cycle!

You’ve got to choose to break the cycle every time. Being truly humble and kind will take you further in your marriage than matching the madness.

1. Pause before you respond. Take a breath. Count to five. Walk to another room for two minutes if you need to. Refuse to let your first reaction become your final word.

“A pause isn’t avoidance;  it’s wisdom wearing work boots. This gives your heart time to catch up with your mouth.” ~ Kristianne Wargo

2. Speak to the person, not the problem. In the heat of a disagreement, shift your language from accusation to acknowledgment. Instead of “You always…” try “I feel…” Instead of proving your case, pursue your spouse. Remind them and yourself that you’re on the same team, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

3. Pray before you push. Before you push your point, pray. Even a silent, two-millisecond prayer — Lord, help me see my spouse the way You see them right now. That changes the temperature of the entire conversation.

“Humility doesn’t come from trying harder; it comes from surrendering faster.” ~ Kristianne Wargo

You don’t have to win every argument to have a winning marriage. In fact, some of the strongest marriages are built by two people who consistently choose peace over proving a point. They choose each other!

Don’t match the madness. Match the love that brought you together in the first place, and let God handle the rest. Let Him grow you and stretch you, because you’re better together.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“