#RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage

I was watching the Pro Football Hall of Fame Game between the Panthers and Cardinals a couple of nights ago. It came down to the final 23 seconds. Two plays run, then two seconds left on the clock. The Panthers’ quarterback, King, called the play — throw it to the right corner of the end zone, easy touchdown. But the defense read it. They shut the door on what should have worked.

And here’s what got me: King didn’t stand there and give up on the play. He didn’t throw his hands up and say “well, that’s over.” He took off running — six, seven steps — extended the ball across the goal line, and won the game.

No hesitation. He looked for something to work with.

That’s marriage. That’s every relationship worth having, honestly. The play you drew up in your head — the way you thought your spouse would show up, the way you pictured this season of your life going — sometimes the defense reads it. Sometimes it doesn’t work the way you planned. And you have two choices: stand there mourning the broken play, or extend what you’ve got and cross the line anyway.

Ecclesiastes puts it plainly: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).

That’s the whole point of two people. You’re not there to keep score of the other person’s incompletions. You’re there to help each other up when the play breaks down.

If you only train your eyes on what’s missing, you will miss every single yard your spouse has already given you.

1 Corinthians 13 doesn’t say love keeps a stat sheet. It says love “keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5).

That’s not weakness — that’s strategy. A coach who only reviews the interceptions never builds a winning team. He looks at what worked, and he calls the next play from there.

You are allowed to be honest about what isn’t working in your marriage. But honesty without a search for possibility just leaves you standing in the end zone with the clock at zero, wondering what happened.

So the question becomes: what does it actually look like, in the day-to-day of your marriage, to look for something to work with?

The K.I.S.S. ~ Stop scanning and start extending!

Stop scanning for what’s missing, and start extending what’s still there.

That’s the whole shift. Not pretending problems don’t exist. Not ignoring what genuinely needs to change. Just refusing to let the incompletions be the only thing you see — and choosing, instead, to run the extra few steps before you give up on the play.

Here’s where you start.

1. Name one thing that worked. Before you list what your spouse got wrong today, find one thing — however small — that they got right, and say it out loud to them. Your spouse may not communicate the way you wish they did, but maybe they show love by fixing what’s broken before you even ask. Maybe they’re not romantic with words, but they’re steady. They stay.

Philippians 4:8 tells us to think about such things: “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely” — this is a discipline.

What you look for, you’ll find more of.

2. Extend instead of retreat. The next time a conversation with your spouse breaks down the way you feared it would, don’t shut the door. Take the extra step — ask one more question, offer one more ounce of patience — before you walk away from the play. This is what King did with the ball in his hands. He didn’t have the play he wanted, so he found the one still available to him.

Proverbs 15:1 reminds us “a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

One more gentle step, instead of one more retreat, is often the difference between a broken play and a win.

3. Pray for eyes that see possibility. Ask God, specifically today, to open your eyes to what’s still working in your marriage instead of only what’s still broken. This isn’t wishful thinking — it’s a scriptural pattern.

Elisha prayed for his servant’s eyes to be opened so he could see what was already there but invisible to him (2 Kings 6:17).

Sometimes the possibility isn’t missing. It’s just unseen. Ask God to open your eyes to it.

Know this: it takes one to start, and two to finish. You don’t need your spouse to go first. You need to be the one willing to extend the ball when the play breaks down — to look for the opening nobody else sees yet.

Be the one the Coach (your Heavenly Father) can use. Not because your marriage is easy, but because you decided it was worth fighting the last two seconds for.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“