Step Back Before You Step Forward

Proverbs 3:5–6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths.”

Notice what this doesn’t say. It doesn’t say your paths will be straight because you figured it out fast, or because you were hard enough on yourself, or because you refused to rest until you recovered. It says in all your way acknowledge him — which requires the willingness to stop, to release control, and to trust something wiser than the storm inside you. God’s got you!

Failure floods the mind with emotion: panic, self-blame, the urgent need to do something. Those feelings rush in, pretending to save you. In reality, they often keep you stuck — reactive rather than strategic, spinning rather than moving.

Wisdom demands that you step back from the chaos of your emotions and seek clarity beyond what feels immediate and urgent.

The smarter move is to decouple feeling from learning.

Failure as a Lesson, Not a Trap

When failure happens, two responses compete for your attention.

The first is emotional: panic, self-doubt, retreat. The second is analytical: examine what went wrong, extract the lesson, identify the next best step. Only the second will free you. The first puts you on repeat — exhausted, spinning your wheels, and no closer to where you’re trying to go.

Romans 8:28 offers a perspective that changes everything: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

All things. Not just the victories. Not just the comfortable seasons. The failures, too, have a purpose — and that purpose is not to paralyze you but to reposition you. The question is whether you’ll stay long enough in the lesson to receive what it’s actually offering.

C.S. Lewis put it plainly: “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” Failure is one of those hardships. It is doing something to you, whether or not you’re paying attention. The only choice you have is whether to be shaped by it intentionally or dragged by it blindly.

Turn failure into forward motion.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Turn failure into forward motion!

Three Strategic Steps to Turn Failure Into Forward Motion

1. Separate Your Feelings From Your Facts

Name the emotions without judgment — anger, embarrassment, disappointment, grief. They are real, and they deserve acknowledgment. But don’t make your next decision inside that storm.

Journal it. Talk it out with someone you trust. Then step away. Return when you’re emotionally neutral and ready to dissect the failure clearly, not reactively. The facts of what happened will look different when you’re not standing in the smoke.

2. Extract the Lesson, Then Map Your Next Step Against It

Ask honest questions: What exactly went wrong? What part was within my control? What assumptions did I make that turned out to be false?

Your next step must logically address the core failure — not just react to the pain of it. There’s a difference between a move that solves the actual problem and a move that simply makes you feel like you’re doing something. One builds; the other just burns energy.

Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” That future is real — but it’s built on honest reckoning, not avoidance.

3. Anchor Your Next Step in Principles, Not Passions

If your next move relies primarily on feeling better or proving something to someone, it’s built on unstable ground. Decisions driven by wounded pride or emotional urgency rarely lead where you actually want to go.

Anchor instead in values, clear criteria, and strategic goals. Ask: Does this align with who I’m trying to become? Does this address the real problem, or does it just feel good right now? This is how you stay clear-eyed. This is how you stop letting “save me” emotions masquerade as forward momentum.

You Are Not Who You Were

The person who failed is not the person standing here now. Something has shifted — your awareness, your humility, your understanding of what you were missing or what you assumed too confidently. That version of you has been refined. What remains is clearer, if you’re willing to see it that way.

This is not a call to minimize what happened or rush past the weight of it. Grief is legitimate. Disappointment is real. But there is a difference between acknowledging the loss and being defined by it.

“Your failures are not the end of your story. In fact, they’re just the beginning: my strength is my story!” ~ Kristianne Wargo

You are being created in real time. Failure is part of the process. God is the potter, and we are the clay (Isaiah 64:8).

The question worth sitting with is not only what went wrong but who is being shaped in the aftermath — and whether you are cooperating with that process or resisting it.

The Road Is Open

The goal is not simply to survive failure — to get past it, put it behind you, move on. The goal is to use it. To let it become the specific, irreplaceable fuel for the next version of what you’re building. Failure is not a detour from your story. Handled with honesty and wisdom, it may be one of its most important chapters.

You might be amazed by what comes from “Oh my goodness storms,” to “Oh my goodness rainbows.”

The road after failure is not smooth. But it is open.

Take the lesson. Anchor your steps. And walk forward as the woman you are and who you are becoming.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“