A relationship is like a house. When a light bulb burns out, you do not go and buy a new house; you fix the light bulb. How do you see problems that need fixing?
Marriage is fascinating. It’s like a cup of coffee; there are so many different flavors and condiments to satisfy the palette.
But what happens if you don’t have your palette satisfied?
The same goes for the light bulb. What happens when the light bulb goes out?
Are you one who makes the suggestion to buy a new house?
Or do you figure out a solution that solves the problem?
I want to say confidently that most people are willing to work things out and find a solution. However, there are always conditions.
And in marriage, the longer the list of conditions, the shorter the length of years in marriage.
This breaks my heart. Yet, I will say there are times that separation and/or divorce are necessary. But that is very personal and hard to categorize here on the podcast.
So the focus today is to get you thinking about how you think you make decisions in your marriage that solves a problem.
The K.I.S.S. ~ Think how you think!
I feel like we are riding the “I think I can” train.
In all seriousness, it is essential to analyze and discover how you are acting within your marriage when it comes to problem-solving.
- Are you an avoider or a confronter? Some people scramble when there is conflict. They don’t like it for many reasons, and it’s easier to not deal with the situation than confront it. On the other hand, the confronter has no concern addressing the problem at hand, even if they don’t have the answer. So are you the one who runs and hides or stands boldly and moves in closer? Depending on the situation, you could be a little of both.
- Are you an initiator or a follower? Once the problem has been identified, do you go in to fix it or attempt to start the process of fixing it? Or do you prefer to follow directions and let someone else do the work/follow-up?
- What is the determining factor as to who makes the final decision? Is it time or money? Is it expertise or knowledge? Or does it fall to the same person regardless of the situation?
These areas give you space to understand your thought process by how you show up when there is a problem.
This by no means is going to solve your problems. That’s for you to fix. But it will allow you to reflect on how you see things through your lenses.
Maybe you are demanding too much. Maybe you are one who retreats too quickly. Maybe you are one who decides regardless of what it involves.
These are just facts, not right or wrong, in which you can understand more thoroughly who you communicate in a time of crisis. Because when something needs fixing, there is a crisis; and the severity is still to be determined.
“When you recognize how you prioritize as stress is present, it helps to alleviate undesirable frustration and keeps you focused on the problem at hand, not the attitude of the partner.” ~ Kristianne Wargo
Remember, there is a person on the other side of your attitude.
Your marriage is sacred. Don’t let problems dictate your relationship.
“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“
#RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Music by Mandisa – Overcomer
Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music –
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.