The pressure in our world today is to be perfect. But what happens when you say the wrong thing, react disrespectfully, or just get mad? Life is not always about perfection but the value of your presence.

Take a moment and get real with yourself. What was the last conversation you had with your spouse?

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Now, I know that is a strange question. However, the sad thing is, most of us can’t answer it.

We don’t know the last conversation, because we were not there.

Are you confused?

Of course, you are. I’m sure you’re thinking how can I be in a conversation but not be there.

Oh, it is possible and we do it every day!

We show up with our own agendas, formulate our thoughts to get what we are after, then leave the conversation excited and grateful, or frustrated and mad.

If you want to impact your marriage every day, converse with your ear!

The K.I.S.S. ~ Converse with your ear!

Some would argue that conversation is all about what is spoken. But that’s only one half of the conversation. You have to listen in order to converse. Otherwise, it’s a monologue.

Marriage requires and deserves a dialogue. So converse with your ear.

1. WAIT for the punctuation. Don’t let your own thoughts get in the way of your spouse. Respect your spouse and wait until his/her sentence(s) is completed. Then, take a deep breath, and respond accordingly.
2. BUILD your spouse’s word bank. This is when you intently listen to the words your spouse uses and add them to your vocabulary. The words your spouse uses are the words that mean and connect with him/her.
3. LISTEN without an agenda. Here is where you show up, all heart and mind ready to engage with your spouse’s thoughts. Don’t come at him/her with an angle to get your way. Bury the distraction of self, and focus on his voice, tone, and desire. Hear his/her thoughts as they escape the tunnel. That is where you grab hold of the words and hear the heart.

Growing together as a couple requires intimacy of the mind, body, spirit, and heart. And that intimacy comes from your presence.

So don’t give your spouse the cold shoulder.

 

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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson

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Music by Mandisa – Overcomer

http://www.mandisaofficial.com

Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music –
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.