As parents, we get so busy that our conversations with our children are light and easy going. But when a situation brings cause for pause, what’s your spin on it?
What do you say when something of a serious nature comes to the forefront?
And what I mean by serious is a blood or flood; something of great concern. Not your everyday, “What do I want for dinner?” conversation.
Now let’s be honest. Who really wants these types of serious conversations? You know the ones that make your skin crawl and you lose sleep night after night.
No one does. This is the hard knocks that we as parents hide from. I don’t like it anymore than you do. But part of growing up and maturing (and I’m talking about us and the children), is having these tough conversations.
We cannot run and hide. If we do, our children will follow in our footsteps. And how does that serve them in the long run? It doesn’t.
Plus, in the short term, the situation still needs to be handled.
So when you’re presented with the “blood or flood”, what’s your spin on it?
- How do you look at the situation objectively and honestly?
- How do you give wisdom and space at the same time?
- When do you know it’s time to step away?
This juggling act can put extraordinary pressures on us as the parents. Normally, we want to jump in and rescue our children. We don’t want them to suffer. We want to protect them and guide them.
Yet we have to walk this delicate line of how much we get involved. Some of it will be determined by the age of the child, the situation, the people involved. The adult child will be handled differently than the 2 year-old child. But they’re both our children.
All we want to do is hold them and make everything better. So we default to loving and caring for them; wanting to fix things quickly and make the pain or hurt go away.
There is nothing wrong with that. However, we are responsible for raising our children to make good and right decisions; what’s right for them. So that means situation after situation, they learn how to navigate through the valleys, hills, and mountaintops of life.
I’ve personally found this very tough and heart-wrenching at times. I don’t like seeing my child suffer. But there are a few things that we as parents must remember,
- What our child does is his/her personal choice.
- It’s is not a personal reflection on who we are as an individual.
We can’t get stuck thinking that it’s all about us. We have to flip the table and place the focus on our child.
The K.I.S.S. ~ F.L.I.P. the table!
Think about how you set the table. It sets the tone of the conversation. You can have a relaxing dinner or a stressful one all based on what you bring to the table.
So F.L.I.P. the table.
- FOCUS on your child. Don’t fret what everyone else is saying. Be aware, but not consumed. What is he/she saying regarding the situation?
- LEARN the details. What is he/she saying regarding the situation?
- IGNORE the personal attacks. This isn’t about you. This is about your child. When things get heated, let it go.
- PURSUE what’s best for the child. What’s that next step? Not what’s best for you or your reputation.
You have a choice as a parent. You can dig your heels in and be the one who is always rescuing. Or you can train up your child to grow and mature through the challenges and celebrations of life.
What’s your spin on it?
How do you want your child to respond as an adult when he/she is in the real world?
“Train for life. Love your journey!”
#ConfessionsOfAnUpsetMama #CreateYourNow #TodaysParent
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Photo by Benjamin Manley on Unsplash
Music by Mandisa – Overcomer
Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music –
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.