Any relationship takes work. However, marriage is a commitment beyond convenience. When your heart fails you, what do you do?
Cinderella would have us believe that we all find our prince and live happily ever after. Oh, if only our hard-working scrubbing days would lead us to a night that would change our life forever.
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That’s why it is a fairytale!
If only marriage was nothing but a honeymoon every day. But for some strange reason, life happens.
- Bills begin to pile up.
- Decisions are made without consultation.
- Children fill the air with demands and distractions.
- Careers build a wedge when too hyper-focused.
- Date nights fade.
- Busyness is the norm.
Why do we let ourselves fall to the point of living our day by rote?
No thoughts. No feelings. No energy. No nothing.
Just gettin’ through the mess!
And then you discover…. When your heart fails you.
Why am I not more connected, more in love, more in something? This isn’t what I expected marriage to be. My Cinderella dream is lost, in fact probably never found. Now what?
When you begin to question why you got married in the first place, it can be a slippery slope. Because most of the time, we want to buy-in to the feeling of “being in love”. What does that actually mean?
I want to take you out of the marriage for a moment. Just think about this.
How much did you think your sweetheart, the love of your life, would be your EVERYTHING?
You’re not alone! Most people enter their marriage with an assumption that their spouse will be their everything.
The problem is when we begin to compare our marriage to the fairytale (or a marriage we think is perfect). Then the realization hits with the aftermath being the heartbreak.
When your heart fails you, what do you do?
What do you do…
- When you feel like the connection is lost?
- When you feel like the love is less?
- When you feel like you’re on a different page?
When dating, you make the effort to be engaged and curious in the relationship you’re building.
But once you say “I do.”, over time, the commitment between the two of you becomes a partnership of convenience. The effort is more engaging when a need needs to be met.
- We begin to gain weight.
- We begin to make sloppy decisions.
- We get lazy.
- We let ourselves go.
As harsh as this is, it’s important that we recognize the value in our marriage. And if we don’t tend to our marriage and make it a priority, you know where that road leads.
So what do you do when your heart fails you?
The K.I.S.S. ~ Rely on the greatest love of all!
Your spouse cannot fill your heart with joy! And that might come as a surprise. But God created us to be relational, with the greatest relationship being with Him.
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” ~ Psalm 73:26 (NIV)
Your spouse is your true love. He brings you a sweetness like the nectar of a ripen fruit. You can taste it. You can feel it. You can smell it. You can love it. You can eat it. It fills you!
However, the deep seeded gaps where pain and hurt reside in your heart, your spouse can’t mend that broken heart. Nor can anyone else. Only God can fill that void.
So when you feel your heart has failed you,
- Run to GOD. He’s your greatest love!
- Seek the TRUTH. Read your Bible.
- Embrace the PROCESS. It takes time to heal. Don’t rush what God controls.
Your marriage doesn’t just involve you and your spouse. Marriage is where two are joined and become one flesh.
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh.Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” ~ Mark 10:7-9
“Your heart is not the barometer of love. Let God in your marriage and let Him fill your heart.”
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash
Music by Mandisa – Overcomer
Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music –
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.