Part of growing up and learning how to manage the game of life starts by knowing how to escape negative thinking traps. The traps that hold you back from taking the next step, saying ‘yes’ when everyone is telling you ‘no’, and giving up before you even begin.
Life is so competitive for our children, and it’s not any better for us adults. We label them as winners from the day they were born (birth measurements). And then it carries on to how quick they crawl and walk, read and add, play sports and excel amongst their friends.
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Why do we push our children the way we do?
Yes, we want what’s best for them. However, how do you determine the “best”? Sometimes what we want for their best is only adding to their worst; not being able to live up to what mom thinks.
The first failure comes with a blow to our heart. But to them, it’s just falling down. We make it a bigger deal than what it has to be.
And moms, we have to be careful not to over exaggerate the problem. We love words and re-telling the stories; hashing it out. But for our children, it’s reliving what they didn’t think was a big deal, yet now it’s a HUGE deal!
In the beginning, the words cut the heart opening up the floodgates of negative thinking.
How are you painting your child’s failures in his minds? Where does she really struggle?
Honestly, we tend to mess up our own children by wanting what’s best for them. In reality, we need to give them guidance and not commands, love and not wishful thinking.
Building them up to know who they are in Christ and to you! They want something tangible to grab hold of.
When we think we’re leading them to higher ground, sometimes it’s more of luring to the negative thinking traps.
Now this is not to fault you. We all try our very best as we know it. But can we know more?
Negative thoughts are centered around exaggerations and untruths.
A child can be playing at recess, stumbles and falls. So no one picks them for the next game. All you hear from your child is, ‘Nobody wanted to pick me.’
That’s an exaggeration. And on top of that, it’s the false labels… NOBODY!
We have to be careful with how we respond to our children in how they share life’s experiences when we don’t know the entire REAL story.
So if you want to know how to escape negative thinking traps for your child and for you,
The K.I.S.S. ~ Break free with truth!
This truth is grounded in the REAL and not the exaggerated story.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” ~ Philippians 4:8
How do you break free with truth? It comes with L.A.S.E.R. truth!
- Listen to your child. No expectations or self interpretations.
- Ask questions for clarity. Don’t make assumptions.
- Summarize the emotions expressed and name it. As they told the story, what was your child feeling.
- Examine the story as told. No elaborations. Use only the information given to you.
- Resolve with actions. Take A.I.M.! What’s next?
You want to encourage the positive thoughts even when things get tough! But those positive thoughts are spoken in TRUTH!
“Break free with TRUTH!!!”
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Read more from Kristianne, a contributor to The Huffington Post, MindBodyGreen, Thrive Global, Addicted2Succes, and She Owns It.
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