The best prescription for your marriage is learning how to love an imperfect spouse.
It’s not about what your spouse does right, but what is done out of love; all by you.
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None of us are perfect. We live in a fallen world with mistakes and messes to clean up on a daily basis, and that’s not including the house.
But if you think YOU can change your spouse, let me deflate your optimistic bubble right now.
You control only you. And no matter the bribe or even if all the stars align up perfectly, you cannot change your spouse.
Unfortunately, too many people enter into marriage with the thought that, “He will come around.”
The comin’ around will only happen when your spouse is ready to change.
Now understand that both the husband and wife are called to love and respect their imperfect spouse. And yes, you are imperfect! Don’t be so surprised. I can name about 10 things I did that were imperfect today; that’s just thinking over the last few hours.
The Bible says…
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” ~ Ephesians 5:33
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” ~ 1 Peter 3:7
So if you’re called to love and respect your spouse and you know you can’t change him/her, how do you love an imperfect spouse?
The K.I.S.S. ~ Start loving you first!
Think about what you call out on your spouse when it comes to pointing out the flaws. Usually we are drawn to what bothers us in others, because it bothers us in ourselves.
Now this realization may sting a little, but really think about the gravity of that statement. If you are pointing something out in your spouse, trace it back to where it is reflected in your life.
It may line up apples to apples. But there will be some distance similarities too. Your obsession may be different from your husband’s, yet there’s still similarities of how you handle it.
For example, you may love to collect shoes, and your husband loves to collect guitars. They are very different, yet similar in how you care for them and that obsession.
Once you understand the imperfections you don’t like within yourself, then you can start loving you first.
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. ~ Matthew 7:3-5
You want to love your imperfect spouse?
You have to start loving yourself; good, bad, and ugly.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ~ Philippians 4:8
You are worthy!
“Start loving you first. And see your marriage changed!”
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Music by Mandisa – Overcomer
Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
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