But as you know, compromise feels like you are selling yourself short. How fair is that to sell yourself short and always make it about the other spouse?

Now that is what we should do. Yet the ego in us forces the feeling that if you can’t get what you want, is it worth doing what your spouse wants?

However, when you went from “me to we”, you made a commitment to love well, serve well, and lead well in your marriage.

So, instead of feeling like you are selling yourself short when you are doing something for your spouse, look at compromise more through the lens of compassion; serving with a tender-heartedness.

It’s not about being right or trying to make things work only the way that serves you most. You are now a couple, and that means you have to think in a different way.

Why not bolster the bonds of love and deepen the connection? Offer compassion to love well.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Offer compassion to love well!

1. Ask how you can serve him/her today

It’s hard to know what your spouse needs unless you ask. So ask every day. This will lead to better communication, and you will know up front what matters to them most based on your conversation.

2. Serve well with win-win solutions

Rather than looking at a situation as one-sided, strive for win-win solutions that take into account both your interests and your spouse’s. Explore creative alternatives that can fulfill both your desires to a certain extent. By brainstorming and collaboratively problem-solving, you can discover solutions that blend your individual perspectives, demonstrating compassion for one another’s desires and aspirations. As American author and speaker Zig Ziglar pointed out, “You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

3. Embrace flexibility and adaptability

Compromise in marriage does not mean abandoning your own desires completely, but rather maintaining a willingness to be flexible and adaptable. Recognize that change is inevitable and that your priorities may shift over time. Embrace the ebb and flow of life together with your life partner, adjusting your expectations and goals as needed to support each other’s growth. As author and motivational speaker Brian Tracy emphasized, “Flexibility is the key to the door of success; without it, compromise becomes a lock, hindering progress and growth.”

By focusing on these three strategies—you can shift your mindset towards compassion and away from feeling like you’re compromising at the expense of your own interests. Remember, in a loving marriage, the aim is for both partners to thrive and find harmony, ultimately creating a balanced and compassionate relationship.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“