Many individuals find themselves sacrificing their own needs and desires in order to gain the approval and acceptance of others.

Whether right or wrong, let’s look at this as a fact. And this fact can be one of the thorns in becoming your best selfie. Whether it’s constantly saying yes to every request, taking up extra responsibilities, or even compromising personal values, people pleasing can have detrimental effects on your well-being.

Take the example of Sarah, a hardworking professional and mom who always goes above and beyond to please her colleagues and her family. Despite being overloaded with tasks, Sarah finds it difficult to say no when her coworkers ask for help, and when her family needs her. As a result, she often experiences high levels of stress and burnout, neglecting her own life balance. Sarah’s desire to please everyone ends up taking a toll on her mental and physical health.

If you want To overcome the guilt and shame associated with not pleasing others, you need to build from the ground up.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Build from the ground up!

And when you build from the ground up, you are looking at what matters to you in the season you are in now.

1. Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to maintain a healthy balance. This means learning to say no when necessary and prioritizing yourself. By clearly communicating your limits and needs, you then train others how to treat you and respect your boundaries.

2. Practice Self-Compassion: Instead of constantly seeking external validation, it’s important to cultivate self-compassion. Being kinder to yourself and accepting that it’s impossible to please everyone all the time can help you release the guilt and shame associated with not meeting others’ expectations. Research conducted by Dr. Kristin Neff at the University of Texas supports the idea that self-compassion can lead to increased resilience and overall well-being.

3. Focus on Authenticity: Embracing your true self allows you to build genuine connections and attract people who appreciate you for who you genuinely are. Seeking approval from others can lead to inauthenticity and an overall dissatisfaction with life. By embracing your unique qualities and values, you can cultivate meaningful relationships and live a more fulfilling life.

When you stop trying to please others and instead look first at the reflection in the mirror, you can expect significant progress in various aspects of your life. By setting boundaries, you create space for self-care, personal development, and growth. This, in turn, leads to improved mental and physical well-being. Additionally, when you give yourself permission to be you, it allows you to build a compassionate foundation with yourself and stronger relationships with others based on mutual respect and understanding. As you prioritize yourself and your needs, you are more capable of making choices aligned with your values, leading to a more fulfilling life overall.

Living your days, where you are constantly under pressure to be everything to everyone, is going to put you six feet under faster than other things you are doing in life. Because it becomes an internal battle that you never get a break from.

So start caring for yourself before someone else dressed in blue scrubs has to. You will love your days more, because you are doing less people pleasing.

“Train for life. Love your journey!“