As parents, we have a vital role in shaping our children’s self-esteem and sense of identity. However, our actions and words may unintentionally undermine our child’s sense of self. Are you stealing your child’s identity?
Our challenge as parents is that we must be aware of the impact our actions and words have on our children’s self-esteem and sense of self.
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Now, I believe most of us know this. But when we are faced with everyday craziness, and busyness takes over, we forget what is said or done in the heat of the moment.
And sometimes, that means we say things that are hurtful, and even an apology can’t take back what was said. The hurt was already done, the stain made.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” ~ Ephesians 4:29
Mom/Dad — We need to be building up.
Yes, our words we share need to be real. But they need to be appropriate for the matter at hand.
And we can’t forget how we express our thoughts and words. Are we swinging our hands with a red face using a tone of defeat and disappointment?
It’s easy to become comfortable with reacting, instead of preparing and then responding.
We can’t just rely on our defaults to sustain our children. Because our defaults can be hurtful.
So if you want to be a builder in your child’s identity, then be Intentional about building them up.
The K.I.S.S. ~ Be intentional about building!
It’s like being the contractor for your child. You are constructing their life, giving them opportunities to be who God created them to be.
- Praise your child’s efforts and accomplishments. Encourage them when situations are rough. This helps them to understand it’s not always about the end result. This will help your child to understand that their efforts are valued and so are they. Their self-worth is not dependent on their achievements. In fact, there will be more failures to achieve a few successes.
- Listen to your child. Take a genuine interest in your child’s thoughts and feelings. This will help your child to feel seen, heard and valued, which is essential for building self-esteem. “You build up your child one sentence at a time.” ~ Kristianne Wargo
- Model positive self-talk in your life. Children learn by example no matter the age. So by practicing positive self-talk teaches your child what to do, and always will continue to build you up. And I don’t know about you, but I always can use some extra bricks reminding me I am created on purpose for a purpose.
It’s important to remember that building self-esteem is an ongoing process and it takes time and effort. However, by being mindful of the impact of our actions and words on our child’s self-esteem, and by using strategies such as those mentioned above, we can help our children to develop a strong sense of self and self-worth.
Don’t overthink how you’re doing as a parent. Take this conversation and let it be a reminder to stay aware of the impact you have on your children.
PRAYER: May your actions, words, and thoughts be herbs and spices, a sweet aroma, to your child’s day. As you train up your child to be who God created them to be, stay grounded in His word so you can help in building their foundation.
“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“
#ConfessionsOfAnUpsetMama #CreateYourNow #TodaysParent
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Photo by Canva.com
Music by Mandisa – Overcomer
http://www.mandisaofficial.com
Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music –
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.
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