And then you talk about marriage?

Marriage can be very messy especially when it comes to personality differences. If you are one who has to always be right or you have a partner that thinks that way, it’s tough to get over and around the differences.

But that doesn’t mean you should sit back and do nothing.

Marriage is about two people, the two of you, who come together as one. However, just because you are a couple does not mean you are not an individual.

Your responsibility in your marriage starts with you.

And that means you’ve gotta stop waiting for your spouse to change.

Look in the mirror first before you point the finger. (Matthew 7:3-5)

The K.I.S.S. ~  Look in the mirror first before you point the finger!

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. ~ Matthew 7:3-5 (NIV)

You cannot help your spouse until you help yourself. The better the two of you are apart, the better you will be together.

It’s all about building the foundation in your marriage, and it does start at an individual level.

1. Lead the change. Look at yourself. Where do you fall short? What do you need to work on that encourages a disconnect between you and your spouse? Begin working on yourself so you can lead the change. “Marriage does take two, but it starts with one!” ~ Kristianne Wargo
2. Create harmony. You want to have this semblance of harmony, not a sound that makes you cringe. This is one way to look and figure out where you fall short or where you need to make some adjustments. As a musician, especially a flutist, it’s important to be in tune with those you play with. Otherwise, no matter what music you play, the song is going to be horrible. The notes might look great on the page and be correct according to musical theory. But that does not mean the sound will be as great as the composition. Create harmony in a way that compliments each other.
3. Mend broken bridges. Instead of pointing the finger, take responsibility for the position you have in the marriage. Don’t make everything your spouse’s fault. Own your stuff! When you do something, genuinely apologize. Don’t assume your spouse gets your position. You have to be a participant in your marriage. And as much as it takes two to be in marriage, it also takes two to mend broken bridges. However, one always begins the journey first.

Look in the mirror first. Fix what can be improved. Don’t be overly defensive with yourself (or your spouse) when you analyze how you act, treat others in the family, and live your everyday.

This is your time to humble yourself and be authentic to yourself. Because that’s when the transformation occurs.

So stop waiting for your spouse to change. Your reflection matters in your marriage.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“