However, what I have discovered, over the decades, is that conflict actually can deepen a relationship and take it to the next level.

Now I know you might be skeptical. So I ask you to listen with an open mind (and heart), because this might actually benefit your marriage faster than other tools and strategies.

Conflict is a part of our every day. Driving to work, you have tension on the road. Getting ready for the day and getting the kids off to school, there is always someone yelling at someone.

And then there are the pre-dinner conversations. Someone wants to be right and to be heard more than listening to the other point of view. Therefore, the conversation turns into a heated battle of words.

What if you could take that energy that is building up and utilize it to learn more about your spouse, and more specifically about yourself?

The K.I.S.S. ~ Embrace conflict as a tool of exploration!

When you can lead your day in your marriage as a discovery tool, that’s where the magic begins. Think back to dating. You wanted to discover more about your potential mate. You wanted to learn what makes them tick. Exploration does exactly that all the while making way to what’s possible as a couple.

This is where the attraction begins.

Like with any conflict, you have the tendency to fight or flee. Call it a natural reaction. However, look beyond the fight or flight, and freeze. This is where your exploration begins.

When you fight, you are always defensive no matter the position. You stand in the corner and declare war.

When you flee (or take flight), you are running away from what is in front of you. This is the non-confrontational stance that keeps everything compacted down.

Both of these can wreak havoc on your marriage. If you both are fighters, where do you end up as a couple? If you both prefer to flee and run from any confrontation, where do you end up as a couple?

However, what if you were to freeze?

When you freeze, you shut down the fight and flight (reaction mode), and you can settle into the response mode. This expands your reach beyond your emotions, which is where fight or flight leads you.

1. Focus on what’s happening within. (ME)
2. Understand your partner’s position. (YOU)
3. Create a conclusion within your companionship. (WE)

As you begin to embrace conflict, not as an enemy but as a tool, that’s where your emotions will take a backseat as you take the helm.

Let conflict in your marriage be a reason in this season to shine a light on your commitment to growing individually and as a couple.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“