Hectic days, long nights. Mountains of frustration and fields of love. This is the journey of every parent. But are you paying attention?
“Paying attention to what?”, you might ask.
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Your child!
You binge-watch your favorite show that you just discovered yesterday. But yet you don’t know what your child did yesterday.
We were getting ready to eat, and in our household, there are a lot of moving parts. Some children, other animals, with a splash of a mom and dad.
We were gathering around to eat, but more so in shifts. My son sat down and asked, “Why is Dad staying in his office?”
I told him that Dad was working on something and they were working too, so he didn’t want to disrupt the flow tonight of what everyone needed to get done.
However, I told him that if he wanted Dad to come out with us to let him know.
His response might surprise you. “Well, he has eyes.”
As you know that got me thinking. Children do not want to ask for attention, especially as they get older. They assume we know that they want us around especially when it’s family time (i.e., dinner, game night, favorite tv show night, etc.).
Now yes, they like their space, but they also like us too. They just don’t want us to know the secret.
So the question of the day is, “Are you paying attention?”
Because if you’re not, you need to.
It’s time to wake up and see with your own eyes.
The K.I.S.S. ~ Wake up and see with your own eyes!
One mistake that parents make is thinking that when a child wants something, they will come and ask. To some degree, this is true. But when it comes to the emotional attachment and who they are (not what they’re doing), then they expect you just to know.
It’s a catch 22.
Children don’t want to be an interruption, they want to have the attention.
If you see with your eyes, they are noticed. If they have to ask, they are an interruption, an inconvenience.
This is a fine line. Some children will say they want independence, but really what they’re in search of is attention from you.
So how do you pay attention without being overbearing and a distraction?
- Know the expectations of “family” time. If you have set up a time where you come together as a family, then honor that time even when they are not present.
- Acknowledge your child’s presence. When you see them, speak to them. Don’t stay buried behind your electronics. Say “Hi”! Ask how their day went.
- Engage in conversation. This is where everyone has a voice. You are not speaking at them. You are including them.
BONUS: If you have a spouse who is not as aware as you are, then bring it to his/her attention.
When my husband came out of his office and everyone was still finishing up dinner, getting ready for a relaxing evening, I simply asked him if he was planning to work more in his office as the children were hanging out here.
It was a kind nudge. There was no beating over the head or calling him out. It was a kind nudge that his children wanted him, even though they were not willing to ask.
Are you paying attention?
Awareness is such an important trait in business, in your personal life, and in your family. But it takes a keen eye to see what is happening.
Regardless of how crazy life gets, pay attention to the ones who are silent; your children.
“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!”
#ConfessionsOfAnUpsetMama #CreateYourNow #TodaysParent
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Photo by Paige Cody on Unsplash
Music by Mandisa – Overcomer
http://www.mandisaofficial.com
Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music –
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.
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