Overwhelm and worry can cloud a sunny day. Life gets hectic, and chaos seems to prevail. But be careful of how reactions rule the roost. Eyes are always watching.
Our children are little sponges regardless of their age. They soak up everything we say and do.
When life gets a little crazy and calls for an emotional release, what gets the best of you? The trap of frustration and madness of life not being fair. Or the calm and coolness of your nerves knowing that this too shall pass.
Life is not fair. There are days that radiate beauty and goodness; everything going your way. But then there are those moments where you have chaos and challenges and you wonder how you even got to this point.
No matter the age, your child is watching how you handle it and your reaction.
Whether we like it or not, our children react to our reactions.
Have you ever had your child fall down? Well, how did you react?
Were you calm, cool, and collected? Or did you jump and rush to him with a voice of deep concern; ‘Are you okay?’.
Your child has instant reactions to your reactions. And because life can get so crazy, most of the time we are reacting instead of responding.
If you desire to create a home of calm and confidence, you too have to understand that your reactions stimulate their responses.
Be careful not to let your reactions rule the roost. Control the tongue and the heart.
The K.I.S.S. ~ Control the tongue and the heart!
Now you might recognize this verse:
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”. ~ James 1:19
Most would not connect this verse as reactions initially. But that’s what it is. Those are reactions that we have in situations.
- Quick to listen. It’s important that your child knows you are listening. If you are distracted or disinterested, then she’ll notice. He will
- Slow to speak. Ask more questions in situations. Gain answers. Don’t be quick to fill in the blanks with all of the “what ifs” that you think happened. Give your child the voice.
- Slow to anger. When the heat of the moment strikes, you have to be very cautious of how you react. You want to respond in a calm manner.
When my daughter got the bad news that her tooth needed extensive work, it wasn’t what she wanted to hear. And neither did I!!
I made sure she felt comfortable throughout the discussion. And then when I was close enough to give her a sweet touch and hug, that’s when the waterworks started. Believe it or not, mine followed hers.
But one thing I did. I kept calm about what was going to happen. I acknowledged her fear of the process. She kept her wits about her, and quickly decided that what was being suggested by the dentist and supported by her mother, she was willing to go along with the plan.
However, I could have been one of those mamas who ran to her side asking if everything was alright, and repeating “everything’s gonna be okay”. Well, if it was, why did I repeat it a thousand times. Now that really didn’t happen. I followed the three: quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. I was very present in what she needed emotionally.
Reactions can be good or bad. You want to use them to grow and stretch your children, not scare them to death.
And one last thing, it’s always good to take a deep breath if you are in a situation that is high-stress or painful (physically or emotionally).
You don’t want to be the loose cannon in your household. And you definitely don’t want to raise one. So control the tongue and the heart.
“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!”
#ConfessionsOfAnUpsetMama #CreateYourNow #TodaysParent
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash
Music by Mandisa – Overcomer
Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music –
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.