Does your spouse make you so mad to the point that you could care less about how you respond? Stay calm and show grace.
But that is SO hard to do. How can you stay calm in a situation where you are challenged, where your character is questioned?
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How can you extend grace and give the benefit of the doubt when it seems that your spouse is never giving it to you?
Relationships can bring out the best or the worst in us. And marriage is no different.
We are either quick to love or quick to lash out.
Fair or unfair, protecting self is the ego’s reaction. Don’t push against me, because I can push against you.
There are times where my sweet husband gets under my nerves. He says something that rubs me the wrong way. He makes a comment that I interpret to be negative or judgmental of my capabilities. He responds with a harsh action that is a disservice to me.
Now understand, this is how I perceive his communication.
His words, his actions, and his reactions meet my interpretations and I draw a conclusion.
And to my defense, it’s to “protect” my ego; who I am. No one wants to feel less than. No one wants to be made fun of. No one wants anything less than to be loved.
But again, it’s my interpretations of his multiple responses.
If I continue to let the sun set on what I perceive, the marriage will be a disaster in the making.
The marriage is doomed.
However, you don’t have to let your ego get in the way of love and appreciation for your partner, even in the mix of miscommunication and hurt.
The K.I.S.S. ~ Stay calm and give grace!
Why add fuel to the fire?
Yet that is exactly what we do. We put on our armor to fight and defend ourselves. We let the ego lead the battle instead of letting our heart fight with a greater impact.
I get that there are going to be times when we need to rise up and defend.
But when it becomes your daily backlash to “prove yourself”, that’s not serving you, your marriage, or your spouse.
In a committed relationship (and in this instance, we’re talking about marriage), it’s important to look at how you respond in situations where you are challenged.
It’s important to come from a place that serves you and does not hinder you.
Stay calm and give grace.
- Stay calm. Take a deep breath. BREATHE! Take a step back. Don’t be rushed to lash out.
- Speak the truth in love. When you come from a place that builds up, it’s easier to see a solution rather than the problem.
- Give grace. This is the benefit of the doubt. Love them where they’re at. It’s not always easy.
This builds a foundation where forgiveness begins and love wins.
Feeding the ego is the death of your marriage.
You have to be willing to sacrifice your ego for the sake of your marriage.
Marriage is where two becomes one.
At no time will your marriage be perfect. In fact, if you think it is, there is probably a bigger problem.
“Stay calm and give grace!”
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash
Music by Mandisa – Overcomer
Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music –
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.