When things aren’t going right in your marriage or you are having difficulties, whose fault is it anyway?
Do you quickly make your spouse the scapegoat, placing all blame on him? Or are you one who looks in the mirror and sees what part you played?
Marriages would be a lot stronger if we all had the guts to look at ourselves first and see what part of the blame we carry.
But we want the easy way out. Why cause more distress and frustration when all the blame can be on someone else?
You know the saying, “Life isn’t fair.”
And that applies to marriage. Marriage is a two-way street. Very rarely are the disagreements and difficulties one-sided. Of course, there’s always an exception to that rule.
But let’s dive into the majority for time sake. If marriage is a two-way street, that means two people are responsible for the results or outcomes, whether good and bad.
Most of us would gladly own up to all the “good vibrations” in the marriage.
- All the good ideas.
- All the great attitudes.
- All the loving deeds.
- All the exceptional experiences.
However, as the struggles become apparent, we are quick to place the blame on the other person.
- He did this.
- He would do that.
- He should of done this.
- He could have.
All logical reasons. Yet the reverse can be said about you.
OUCH!!! That stings!
And boy do I know. I’ve been faced many times with the Blame Game pieces all lined up to “prove” I was right and he was wrong.
Where did that get me?
ABSOLUTELY NO WHERE!!!
So why do we keep playing a game that we lose at EVERY time?
That’s one question you need to ponder. Because ultimately, you control only you. As much as you wish you could wave your magic wand to change your husband into the perfect prince, it’s never going to happen. And what would be the fun in that anyway?
If everything was perfect, there would be no making up. (wink, wink)
Whose fault is it anyway?
The one thing I’ve learned is that you focus on what you can control.
The K.I.S.S. ~ Focus on what you can control!
Honestly, does it really matter whose fault it is anyway?
Think about what you say to your children when one comes and tattles on the other.
The key is drawing attention to what each party can control.
So when you are talking about a marriage, focus on what you can control.
- Look at the situation from the spouse’s perspective.
- Apologize for your shortcomings or wrongdoings.
- Change what you can. Make adjustments.
- Love him where he’s at.
Does it really matter whose fault it is if you keep the focus on what you can control?
No, it really doesn’t.
Are you ready to put the focus on you and make the necessary changes, regardless of how hard it is?
“Focus on what you can control. God’s got the rest!”
#RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Photo by A L L E F . V I N I C I U S Δ on Unsplash
Music by Mandisa – Overcomer
Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music –
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.