Why won’t my child talk to me? Communication is an essential tool to building strong relationships. How do you speak to your child?
Are you a momma who slams the door in their face? Only wanting to talk when it’s convenient for you.
Yes! This is what a lot of us do, even in our marriages. War of words.
You want to carry on the longer conversation after your husband has worked a long 10-12 hour day; a he would rather not. And then you get upset.
A conversation involves more than one person. You talking to yourself is an internal dialogue. If you want to build up your communication with your child, you must be willing to learn how to.
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As much as we think we know how to converse, we rarely put any energy or concentrated effort into learning the skills needed to grow.
“We don’t converse with our children (our spouses); we attack, we demand. We expect a certain response from them based on what we say. But what we get is a closed door and no ears to hear.” ~ Kristianne Wargo
You want to be heard, but not willing to listen when needed.
So how can you get your child (or spouse) to talk to you?
The K.I.S.S. ~ Communicate when they reach out – C.H.A.T.!
- C = CONNECT. Be available when they want to talk even if it’s at midnight.
- H = HEAR. Hear their side of the story even if you don’t agree. This is your chance to hear their heart. Hear INTENTLY! On purpose. Watch their mannerisms, how they use their words.
- A = ACCEPT. Understand. No judgement. We have a tendency to put down. Accept their position. That doesn’t mean you agree. But it’s giving them RESPECT. You can’t attack and cut them off.
- T = TEXT. How are they speaking to you? Learn their language. Facebook. Text. Instagram. Snap Chat. Twitter.
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” ~ Stephen R. Covey
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