There’s a reason scores celebrate victories, touchdowns, and progress—not the absence of errors.

Marriage needs that same mindset. Instead of keeping a tally of mistakes, start counting the wins—however small—they bring to the team.

Strengthening your foundation means consciously switching your focus. That effort to catch your spouse doing something right? That’s the pivot point between a stuck, weary relationship and one that grows stronger by the day.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Catch your spouse doing it right!

Here are three everyday ways a spouse can actively extend love, gratitude, and recognition — and what that looks like in real life:

1. Speak It Out Loud
   Don’t wait for grand gestures to hand out thanks. If your spouse took out the trash without being asked or handled the kids’ bedtime with patience, say so. “I noticed you handled bedtime so calmly tonight—thank you. It really made a difference.” These simple words don’t just make your partner feel seen; they lay bricks of appreciation that build trust.
2. Celebrate Small Wins Together
   Maybe your spouse cooked dinner after a long day or remembered to schedule the car maintenance. Recognize these small victories with genuine enthusiasm. Try sharing a moment: “That homemade lasagna was amazing. You nailed it tonight!” Real-life example: making a low-key habit of marking these moments with a high-five, a smile, or even a quick text to say, “You crushed that task today.” This keeps momentum going when life gets busy.
3. Offer Help Instead of Criticism
   When something isn’t perfect, resist the urge to point fingers. Instead, say, “I see you’re working hard on X, how can I support you?” This shifts your mindset from fault-finder to teammate. It encourages partnership and shows your faith in their effort, fueling more of the good instead of focusing on what’s missing.

Marriage is a daily team sport. To win, you don’t just watch for the fumbles—you root for every successful play, every little advance your partner makes toward the shared goal.

Be the one who’s quick with a thank you, who notices the effort before it becomes obvious.

“When your words and actions consistently shine light on what’s working, you create a foundation so solid no storm can shake it.” ~ Kristianne Wargo

Because every little bit counts.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“