At some point, every partnership faces a crossroads. You can choose to keep scanning for what’s missing—or you can decide there’s more to your marriage than your current perspective allows.

This is not about ignoring real problems, but about shifting your mindset from scarcity and critique to openness and appreciation.

Remember: what you look for, you will find. So, why not look for the beauty that’s right in front of you?

Choosing to see the beauty in your spouse is not a passive feeling but an intentional act.

It begins with you, but it takes both of you to carry it forward.

“One to start, two to finish!” ~ Kristianne Wargo

This simple yet powerful decision can unlock new depths in your love, transforming what “is” into what it “can be.”

The K.I.S.S. ~ Transform what is into what can be!

Look at where you are now. How would you deem your marriage to be when it comes to a “love scale?” If you don’t acknowledge what is happening, there is no chance to make a change.

Here’s how a spouse can start this shift immediately:

1. Focus on qualities, not quirks. Every person has traits that drew you in—they’re still there. Make a habit of naming those things, silently or out loud. Praise loyalty, humor, kindness, or whatever makes your spouse uniquely them. This rewires your brain away from the habit of criticism.
2. Practice curiosity instead of judgment. When a quirk or habit feels annoying, pause and ask, “What’s behind this?” That mundane habit might be a leftover from stress or a way your spouse feels safe. Understanding is love’s antidote to frustration.
3. Create daily moments of gratitude. This can look like a quick text, a thank-you for a simple act, or a genuine compliment during dinner. The small habit of regularly expressing appreciation becomes the watering can for love to grow.
4. See your spouse’s growth, not just their stasis. People change, but love often freezes us in old narratives. Update your story. Look for evidence of growth and effort—even small steps.
5. Remember the unspoken bond. Your spouse carries burdens, dreams, fears, and intentions beneath the surfaces you see. When you choose to believe in their goodness, you build a foundation where love can deepen beyond words.

This isn’t about ignoring the messy realities of marriage. It’s about flipping the lens from problem spotting to heart seeing. The beauty in front of you is waiting. The only question is: will you choose to see it?

Love grows where eyes rest with intention—and when you start seeing the beauty, you make space for the heart to stay.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“