Our children need to know that their accomplishments and achievements don’t outweigh their presence. Who they are matters, not necessarily what they do.

Think about it this way: If you were told that your child would be the President of the United States, and they ended up being an electrician, would you treat them differently since they didn’t get what was theirs to have?

Disappointments from our children come in many shapes and sizes, from their reckless decisions to not winning their games.

But why do we get caught up in that?

Have you ever thought about what your child wants?

Now, yes, age and stage matter. A two-year-old will not know what they like/need like a fourteen-year-old would. However, it’s not our job to “force” or strongly encourage them to do one thing over the next.

Don’t you want what your child wants for them?

If that’s you, then you gotta love more than you complain.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Love more than you complain!

And that complaining sounds very different to us than it does to our children.

We might think we are encouraging and cheering them on to the next thing. But sometimes, all they hear is, “You gotta get this.”

Pleasing parents comes at a cost, too. And it’s not usually to the parents. The children take it personally and then hide it in their hearts, which either helps them or significantly weighs them down.

Therefore, being mindful of how your child responds to your communication is crucial. And if you have more than one child, you need to know that one size does not fit all!

1. Practice Gratitude: Instead of focusing on what your child is not doing or achieving, take time each day to express gratitude for who they are and the unique qualities they possess. Celebrate their individuality and strengths. Tell them you are thankful for them. You are grateful that you get to be their mom or dad.

2. Effective Communication: Instead of resorting to constant complaints or criticisms, open up a dialogue with your child. Ask more questions rather than forcing your ideas down their throats. Listen to their thoughts and feelings without judgment. Understanding their perspective can strengthen your bond and foster a more positive relationship. You get to know who they are and who they are becoming.

3. Celebrate Small Wins: Rather than solely emphasizing big accomplishments or milestones, recognize and celebrate the small victories your child achieves each day. Whether it’s completing a homework assignment or showing kindness to a friend, acknowledging their efforts can boost their confidence and self-worth. Notice what they do every day, not just the big stuff along the way.

Parenting is a balancing act between guiding your children towards success and nurturing their emotional well-being. By choosing to love more than you complain, you create a foundation of understanding, acceptance, and support that empowers your children to grow into confident, compassionate individuals.

Let’s remember that our children’s worth is not measured by their accomplishments, but by the love and kindness they bring into the world.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“