Life isn’t supposed to be fair, but when it comes to your marriage, most hope they are number one and a priority.

However, let’s be real. There are those times when you can’t be number one. And you’ve gotta remember that it goes both ways.

When life presents challenges and responsibilities, it’s easy to lose sight of each other’s needs and priorities. Plus,it may not be so much that your spouse doesn’t care, but more so the responsibilities in the season.

Consider the birth of a new child, building or changing your career, medical diagnoses, extended family situations, and the child’s various stages of life. There are many variations of what can become a priority or a necessity to “make it through” difficult circumstances, but that doesn’t mean your spouse, or even you, doesn’t love you.

But in reality, that’s just what you feel. And it’s important to honor and recognize those feelings; however, don’t hang out with them in a manner that can foster bitterness and begin the downward spiral in your marriage.

If you find yourself experiencing a lack of priority from your spouse, or maybe you are not prioritizing your spouse, then take a moment to intentionally turn things around.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Turn things around!

That’s what you have to remember: you have a choice to make a decision about how you show up every day in your marriage.

If you want to navigate these treacherous waters in your marriage, hang on, because you can turn things around.

Here are three actionable steps to help turn things around when you’re not feeling like you’re number one in your spouse’s life:

1. Love Language Exploration: Discover each other’s love languages and actively incorporate them into your daily interactions. Whether it’s acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, or receiving gifts, understanding and catering to each other’s love language can deepen emotional connections and reignite intimacy. The book by Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages, is a great resource.

2. Adventure Together: Step out of your comfort zone and try new experiences together. Whether it’s exploring a new hobby, embarking on a spontaneous road trip, or taking a cooking class, shared adventures can create lasting memories and strengthen the bond between partners.

3. Gratitude Practice: Cultivate a habit of gratitude within your relationship. Take time each day to express appreciation for each other’s efforts, qualities, and presence in your life. A gratitude journal, daily affirmations, or simply verbal expressions of thankfulness can foster a sense of mutual respect and admiration.

4. Couples Counseling: Consider seeking the guidance of a professional couples therapist to navigate through challenges and improve communication. Therapy sessions can provide a safe space for both partners to express their feelings, work through conflicts, and gain valuable insights into improving the relationship dynamics.

5. Physical Touch Rituals: Create rituals of physical touch that foster intimacy and connection. Whether it’s holding hands during evening walks, cuddling before bed, or sharing regular hugs throughout the day, physical touch can communicate love and support non-verbally, strengthening the emotional bond between partners.

6. Surprise Gestures: Surprise your partner with thoughtful gestures that show your love and appreciation. It could be leaving a heartfelt note in their bag, preparing their favorite meal, or organizing a surprise date night. Small acts of kindness and thoughtfulness can make your partner feel valued and cherished.

7. Shared Goals and Dreams: Align your visions for the future and set shared goals as a couple. Whether it’s planning a travel adventure, saving for a common financial goal, or pursuing a joint passion project, working together towards a shared vision can foster a sense of unity and purpose in your relationship.

8. Mindfulness Practice: Incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily routine as a couple. Whether it’s meditating together, practicing deep breathing exercises, or simply being present in the moment during shared activities like eating dinner together, mindfulness can enhance emotional awareness, reduce stress, and improve communication within the relationship.

Be creative in your marriage by approaching life’s challenges in innovative ways. Think outside the box and do what works for you all as a couple and as a family. You can make it through these, what feels like, obtrusive seasons in your marriage, so long as you are intentional, kind, and serve with forgiveness.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“