Are you serving yourself only by pointing fingers at your spouse? Or are you searching deeper and starting by looking in the mirror?

True growth in a relationship comes from self-reflection and personal development.

Our egos appreciate the pointing of the fingers at our spouses. But the success of our marriage is dependent upon the reflection of our own head and heart first.

Once when that clarity sets in and growth is gained for you, that’s when the magic shows up in your marriage.

Look in the mirror.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Look in the mirror!

Here are three key strategies for spouses to consider before pointing the finger at their partner:

1. Cultivate Self-Awareness:

Research shows that self-awareness is a critical skill for successful relationships. Before criticizing your spouse, take a moment to reflect on your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Ask yourself why certain things trigger you and how you can address those triggers within yourself.

By understanding your own emotional reactions and patterns, you can approach conflicts with your partner from a place of self-awareness and empathy.

2. Understand Where “IT” Comes From:

Once you know your patterns and triggers, the things you see in the mirror— you can begin to understand where they’re coming from. It’s vital to recognize and acknowledge what is happening so you can make decisions as to how to rectify the situation. How do you turn things around quickly?

And then, in real-time, you can make shifts where you don’t even experience the patterns or triggers any longer.

3. What is Your Contribution?

Rather than trying to change your spouse, focus on where your contribution is in the marriage. Wherever you think you’re pointing your fingers, look at yourself first.

Make the changes, discuss them with your spouse, and see what happens. Then, you make further tweaks along the way, eventually creating new habits.

Now, it’s no longer about what your spouse is doing all wrong, but what you are doing better for your marriage.

Connect your head and heart in this partnership called marriage. That’s where you’ll see hope and love root deeper, creating a stronger foundation for a beautiful marriage.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“