There are so many reasons why we don’t ask.

• Fear of Rejection: Spouses may hesitate to ask for help or communicate their needs out of fear of being rejected or judged by their partner.
• Assumption of Mind-Reading: Some spouses may believe that their partner should intuitively know what they need without having to explicitly ask for it, leading to miscommunication and unmet expectations.
• Guilt or Shame: Feelings of guilt or shame can prevent spouses from reaching out for assistance, as they may perceive themselves as burdensome or inadequate for needing help.
• Lack of Prioritization: Balancing household responsibilities, work commitments, and other obligations can make it difficult for spouses to prioritize communication about their needs and seek the support they require.
• Communication Barriers: Poor communication skills or unresolved conflicts within the relationship can create barriers to effectively expressing needs and asking for help.
• Independence: Some spouses may have a strong sense of independence and struggle to show vulnerability or rely on others for assistance, leading to a reluctance to communicate their needs.

Do you identify with any of these? And maybe you have thought of others.

Understanding these pain points can help you overcome barriers to effective communication and create a more open and supportive marriage built on trust, empathy, and mutual understanding.

However, if you are going to get anywhere with communication, you’ve got to speak up and ask!

The K.I.S.S. ~ Speak up and ask!

Don’t assume that your spouse is going to read your mind. I’ve been married and together for over 35 years now, and he still cannot read my mind. Now, I can read his mind, LOL! But that doesn’t change the fact that we still need to feel comfortable, safe, and secure in sharing our thoughts, feelings, and needs with the one we love most.

Come on, let’s be real!

Here are three ways to cultivate the courage to speak up and ask for what you need:

1. Set Aside Time for Honest Conversations: Create a safe space where you and your spouse can have open and honest discussions about your needs and expectations. Schedule regular check-ins to address any concerns or requests for support. By establishing clear communication channels, you can build trust and understanding in your relationship.

2. Practice Self-Advocacy: Recognize that it’s okay to prioritize your well-being and ask for help when necessary. Practice self-advocacy by acknowledging your own needs and vocalizing them to your partner. Remember that a healthy relationship is based on mutual support and cooperation, so don’t hesitate to express your concerns or ask for assistance.

3. Frame Requests Positively: When asking for help, frame your requests in a positive and constructive manner. Instead of focusing on what your spouse isn’t doing, highlight how their assistance would benefit both of you. By emphasizing the positive outcomes of their support, you can encourage a collaborative approach to problem-solving and strengthen your bond as a couple.

By cultivating the courage to speak up and ask for help in your relationship, you can foster a deeper connection with your spouse and create a more supportive and harmonious partnership.

Remember, it’s not a sign of weakness to seek assistance – it’s a testament to your strength and commitment to building a healthy and fulfilling marriage because you care about each other.

Asking takes courage. So, go and do it!

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“