Guilt is a real thing for parents. We want to give our kids what we didn’t have, but at what cost and to what extremes? At some point, you must embrace how to say no without guilt.
Because can you really reason with a child, no matter their age?
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Absolutely not!!
Yet, because we want to be that endearing parent who gives our kids what we didn’t have, we try to approach situations and circumstances with a reasonable twist. But they can’t reason! Their brains have not fully developed.
And, of course, you have to consider the situation and the appropriate actions.
Life is ridiculous for parents, and it doesn’t get easier the older they get.
What I can tell you that works best is that you are the parent, so be the parent!
The K.I.S.S. ~ Be the parent!
That means you have to be the adult in the situation. You have to look at how you need to respond based on the severity, or lack thereof, and determine your next steps, especially when it comes to discipline.
There are consequences in life, good or bad. Raising your kids to understand that they can get away with whatever, and there are no consequences, only sets them up for future failures and greater falls.
You were given your children to raise them up to be productive human beings, not to be their best friend. Plus, you’re not grandma and grandpa. They’ve earned the right to spoil; you have the right to discipline! So, be the parent!
1. Examine the situation for what it is.
There is nothing worse than overreacting! Instead of being overly dramatic or monstrous in your reaction, take a deep breath and see the situation. Don’t read into the what-ifs. Gather the facts and know the potential fallout. So long as everyone is safe, that is what counts first. Then, take the next step.
2. Choose your words wisely.
When we are pushed to the limits and stressed without preparation, it’s easy to jump into survival mode. Yet, being a parent requires regulated and calculated conversations. If it can wait until morning (assuming the incident happens at night), then maybe that would be better for all involved. However, if the situation calls for a “911” response by you, then think before you open your mouth. Otherwise, it might end up being a foot-in-the-mouth moment. Not good. So, choose your words wisely.
3. Know the lesson they need to learn.
If you can approach the circumstance with the knowledge of what they need to get out of the mess, that will bring a sense of balance to a stressful situation. And then, you can prepare how you want to lead them into making a wiser decision, so they don’t make the same mistake again.
Certainly, you have to survey the situation. But also, don’t be afraid to be firm. Life is precious and so are your children. Teaching them the way to go is one of the greatest responsibilities that we have as parents.
Yes, we want to give our kiddos what we didn’t have; but don’t let them make the same mistakes you did. As parents, we get to break the generational mishaps and make life more meaningful. Who wants to continue stuff that isn’t good. Our parents did their best, and as time goes on, we can also do better. Giving that incredible gift to your child allows us to say no without guilt.
“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“
#ConfessionsOfAnUpsetMama #CreateYourNow #TodaysParent
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
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Music by Mandisa – Overcomer
http://www.mandisaofficial.com
Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
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