On the other hand, couples who make an effort to resolve their conflicts before bedtime tend to report higher levels of satisfaction and intimacy in their relationships.

So, where do you fall?

The age-old advice of never going to bed angry holds some truth, but is it always realistic?

Psychologists suggest that burying emotions and pretending everything is fine just to avoid bedtime conflicts can actually harm your marriage in the long run. Sometimes, taking a break and allowing emotions to cool off before addressing the issue can be a healthy approach.

If you find yourself boiling with anger and feel that having a conversation before bed might escalate the situation, maybe you should calm the sizzle.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Calm the sizzle!

Here are three strategies couples can implement to overcome their anger and find resolution:

1. LOWER THE TEMPERATURE — Reflect on the facts and feelings. When you can separate the two, it allows you to gather perspectives that can help you decipher the situation at hand. This has nothing to do with your spouse, but everything to do with you.

2. CRACK THE CONVERSATION — This is where you open the door and see if your spouse is ready to discuss the situation using active listening skills and seeking common ground. There is no room for “I’m right!” in this discussion. Truly hearing and understanding your partner’s perspective can go a long way in diffusing anger. Communication expert John Gottman advises, “Listen with the intent to understand, not to reply.” This is an opportunity to clear the air.

3. SEEK COMMON GROUND — Find areas of agreement and focus on shared values to bridge the gap between conflicting viewpoints. You might need to consider a “both/and”.

“In the midst of anger, remember the love that brought you together.” ~ Kristianne Wargo

Navigating bedtime conflicts in marriage requires a delicate balance of addressing issues and respecting emotions. While resolving conflicts before bed is ideal, it’s equally important to recognize when emotions are running high and taking a pause can be beneficial.

As a couple, you can bridge the gap of anger and move towards a path of understanding and affection. Remember, in the dance of marriage, sometimes a pause can lead to a more harmonious rhythm.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“