The idea of “forever” suddenly feels heavy, and the once-bright future ahead can start to look dim. For many couples, finding themselves in a cycle of blame and frustration is not uncommon.

You’ve got bills, responsibilities, kids, a career, pets, and the in-laws — that’s just to name a few. The pressure is real. And the thing is with us being so connected through technology, there is no mental break. Everything is always in your face, especially if you use social media. and are not just on it for entertainment.

That’s when the waters get murky, the comparison jumps out often, and second-guessing becomes your go-to.

“Why did I even get myself into the situation?”

Yet, in the midst of these challenges, there lies a simple but powerful shift that can change everything – a shift from pointing fingers to saying “I will.”

The K.I.S.S. ~ I will!

Navigating the rough waters of a troubled marriage can be daunting, but it’s essential to remember that change starts within. Look at who you are in the relationship.

Instead of focusing on what your partner isn’t doing, try to shift the narrative to what you can do to make things better. It’s a small shift in perspective that can lead to significant transformations in a relationship.

But it takes…

• Work
• Energy
• Effort
• Consistency
• Vulnerability
• Openness
• Gratitude
• Unconditional love
• Forgiveness
• Reflection
• Determination
• Empathy
• Humility
• Kindness

It takes you wanting to become better than who you think you are. That means you are putting yourself in your place. You are now in timeout, as we would tell the kiddos. You have got to focus on the person you control.

WARNING: Be careful who you talk to when asking for their opinions. If you have people who can’t see all sides, then they are more likely to say, “There’s nothing wrong with you.” That naturally leads you to think you have nothing to change. And I’m here to tell you– everyone has things that need to change!

1. BE KIND BEFORE OPENING YOUR MOUTH — Practice Empathy: Before reacting to a situation, take a moment to step into your partner’s shoes.

Understanding where they are coming from can help you approach conflicts with a more compassionate mindset.

2. SHUT UP — Listen Intently: One of the most common pitfalls in a struggling marriage is the breakdown of communication. Make a conscious effort to listen actively to your partner without judgment.

Effective communication involves not just talking but truly hearing each other’s feelings and needs. A lot of times, when our spouse is talking, we finish the sentences in our minds, which means we do not hear what is actually being said. And then you wonder who is mudding up the water?

3. BE WHO YOU ARE BECOMING — Commit to Personal Development: Building a strong marriage requires individual growth and self-awareness. Work on becoming the best version of yourself, both for your sake and for the sake of your relationship.

By embracing the mindset of “I will,” couples can take proactive steps towards rebuilding their connection and creating a more harmonious partnership. It’s not about waiting for the other person to change but taking responsibility for your own actions and choices. You can only control YOU!

“When you are married, it’s not about doing life one way, but coming together to create a way.” ~ Kristianne Wargo

Remember, every journey has its bumps and detours, but with a willingness to shift from blame to action, couples can navigate through the storm and emerge stronger on the other side.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“