Marriage is no longer a partnership; it becomes a one-person show. Dreams and goals are no longer considered.

And maybe you’re not sure if you are in a marriage where you are the doormat, or treating your partner as such.

The “walking all over” effect can manifest itself in various subtle or overt ways that erode one’s sense of self-worth and the value you add as an individual.

Marriage, yes, is a partnership where 2 become 1; however, the individual is not lose themselves because of another person.

Some examples of being a doormat in marriage is:

1. Lack of Communication: Your spouse consistently dismisses or belittles your opinions, feelings, and needs. Your voice is silenced and you feel unheard in important discussions or decision-making processes.

2. Unequal Power Dynamics: One partner consistently exerts control over the other, making unilateral decisions without considering the other’s input or feelings. This imbalance of power can lead to a sense of helplessness and lack of autonomy.

3. Emotional Neglect: Your emotional well-being is neglected, and your spouse fails to show empathy or support during challenging times. You may feel isolated and unsupported in dealing with your emotions or struggles.

4. Constant Criticism or Blame: You are frequently criticized, blamed, or made to feel responsible for issues in the relationship, even when they are not entirely your fault. This pattern of negativity can erode your self-esteem and confidence over time.

5. Lack of Appreciation: Your efforts, contributions, and sacrifices go unnoticed or unappreciated by your spouse. Your value in the relationship is overshadowed, leaving you feeling unacknowledged and unvalued.

Signs that you might be feeling walked all over in your marriage include:

1. Feeling like your needs and opinions are consistently ignored or devalued.

2. Always giving in to your partner’s demands or desires at the expense of your own.

3. Constantly feeling drained, unfulfilled, or unappreciated in the relationship.

4. Having a sense of powerlessness or helplessness in influencing decisions or dynamics within the marriage.

5. Experiencing a lack of emotional support, empathy, or understanding from your spouse.

Recognizing these signs is the first step towards reclaiming who you are and who you are becoming, your self-worth within the marriage.

If you want to have a healthier, more harmonious relationship dynamic, you need to address these patterns and reclaim your voice.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Reclaim your voice!

As you consider this for yourself, be careful to make sure you look at it from both perspectives. Being in a marriage means you do need to take into consideration both you and your spouse. Because if you are quick to point fingers and not look at the totality of the marriage and what you bring to the relationship, then your actions, or lack there of,  can be just as bad as what is being done to you.

Here are three essential steps to reclaim your voice and stop being a doormat in your relationship.

1. Set Boundaries: Marriage counselor Leslie Vernick emphasizes the importance of setting healthy boundaries in a relationship. Communicate assertively with your spouse about your needs and limits.

Dr. Gary Chapman, author of “The Five Love Languages,” suggests that understanding and expressing your needs can help create a more balanced dynamic in the marriage.

2. Practice Self-Care: Make self-care a priority in your life. Jimmy Evans, founder of MarriageToday and XO Conference, stresses that taking care of yourself emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually can strengthen your sense of self-worth. Remember, it’s essential to fill your own cup before you can pour into your relationship.

3. Seek Counseling: If you feel consistently unheard and undervalued in your marriage, seek the support of a professional counselor. A trained therapist can help you and your spouse improve communication, address underlying issues, and work towards a healthier relationship dynamic.

As Kristianne Wargo wisely said, “You can stop being a doormat, but it first starts with who you are and who you are becoming.”

Remember, reclaiming your self-worth is a journey that begins with prioritizing your own well-being and setting boundaries that honor your value in the relationship.

By taking these proactive steps, you can begin to shift the dynamic in your marriage and foster a more respectful and equitable partnership. It’s time to stop being a doormat and start valuing yourself within your relationship.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“