But where do you start? Is it even possible?

There are many people who believe that once you hit a certain point, there’s no other option. Keep what you have (which doesn’t seem like much), or drop the gauntlet and get a divorce.

And in truth, that’s the reality of a lot of people. Maybe it’s yours right now. Maybe you have been hanging on by a thread, hoping for something more, but getting nothing.

How can you truly transform your marriage and build stronger bridges?

It takes one step at a time to build the bridge.

The K.I.S.S. ~ One step at a time!

Many times, we want to hurry the process out of desperation. We want to make what isn’t good go away, and keep only the good and multiply it. However, those actions have fallen flat, because remember, you’ve tried everything.

So let’s go a little deeper in order to build that bridge one step at a time.

1. See What Your Spouse Sees

Not only do we need to open our hearts, but we need to open our eyes. You’ve gotta see what your spouse sees; otherwise, what you do is simply through your own eyes– which can be misleading. It’s not that you don’t see what is happening, but it is one-sided.

Marriage is a two-way street. So be willing to go two-way, not just driving on the one-way that seems to be easier for you.

One of the main ways you can do that is through communication. Communication is the foundation of any successful marriage. Yet, it is often the first thing to deteriorate when couples face challenges.

So to build stronger bridges, it’s crucial to embrace effective communication. And that being seeing what your spouse sees.

What is your spouse’s body language when you greet them after they return home from work? A conference? A night out with their friends?

What do your spouse’s eyes say when you bring up various topics for discussion? Do you get eye rolls? Do you get a person who leans in more? What is it?

When you talk, do you all speak only through texts, or maybe you’re on your digital device to keep you occupied?

Create a safe space for open dialogue, free from judgment or criticism, which means you have to be open to what your spouse sees. Remember that effective communication is a two-way street.

2. Spend Time Together

In the hustle and bustle of life– you’ve got the busyness. But do you have the heart?

Let that sink in. Sometimes we are so focused on the honey to-do list that we forget what really matters. Yes, you have to pay attention to all the responsibilities like kids, bills, supper, and laundry, but you can’t forget the partner you said you wanted to do it all with.

So don’t let time slip through the cracks. Schedule those regular date nights or carve out dedicated moments each day for undivided attention. Go to bed to spend time together, whatever you want to do. But these are precious moments and time you’ll never get back. Put away the distractions and focus solely on your spouse. Engage in activities to reconnect and nurture your shared interests. Quality time allows you to experience joy, laughter, and intimacy, reigniting the flame of love and strengthening your bond.

3. Show Gratitude and Appreciation

There is nothing more powerful than stepping out of your ego and letting someone else know that you appreciate them, and that what they do matters!

Gratitude is a powerful tool in building stronger bridges in your marriage. Expressing appreciation for your spouse and acknowledging their efforts can have a profound impact on your relationship.

And maybe you do it periodically. But what if you did it every day from a genuine position of love?

Make it a habit to show genuine gratitude for the little things they do, whether it’s a thoughtful gesture or simply being there for you. Till the soil in your home by planting appreciation seeds. Remember, a simple “thank you” can go a long way in strengthening the bridge that connects you both.

“Marriage is not just about finding the right person, but becoming the right person.” ~  Kristianne Wargo

Ask yourself this question: Is what I’m seeking in my marriage something that I’m giving to my spouse?

Are you being kind and considerate, not just because it’s easy, but because you really want to? Are you extending forgiveness first? Look at your reflection. That’s a great indication of where your heart is right now.

If you find yourself yearning for a better marriage, know that there is always room for growth and improvement. You can bridge the gap and build a stronger bridge, one that will last a lifetime.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“