Just like in nature, storms hit marriages unexpectedly, with gales of conflict, thunderous arguments, and torrential emotions. But fear not, for just as a lighthouse guides a ship through a violent storm, you can weather the storm in your marriage.
Now there are different shapes and sizes of storms. You can have little squabbles that fade quickly, like a single gray cloud overhead. Or you can have torrential downpours that result in flash flooding everywhere. All of a sudden, you have rivers where there were once sidewalks.
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Part of the struggle is recognizing if you’re even in a storm, and should you be concerned about it.
In the early days of marriage, a couple may face the storm of adjusting to the realities of living together. Differences in habits, communication styles, and expectations may create tensions and lead to conflicts. You know, things just don’t jive together like they used to. Dating was much easier because you were still trying to win the prize.
But then, you have the pressure of society’s expectations, financial difficulties, and parenting challenges, which can further intensify any storm.
So the first thing is: Are you in a storm that you should be concerned about?
There is no right or wrong answer. But I would say this. If you keep whispering under your breath about something your spouse is doing that you don’t like or whatever it is continues to bother you, there’s a storm brewin’.
If you find that you all have a shouting match over a particular subject every time it comes up for conversation, there’s a storm brewin’.
Half the battle is knowing that a fronts coming. When you look at the weather map, if you see that a major storm is approaching, you can prepare accordingly. But if you allow it to surprise you, for whatever reason, then you have to deal with the onset of panic and lack of preparedness. Think of a tornado.
You have to be focused, diligent, and present to know what is happening in your marriage.
But I want to say this too. Every storm eventually passes.
However, if you’re not in the right state of mind, it can take you under. So if you want to gain strength through adversity, you have to learn how to weather the storm.
The K.I.S.S. ~ Weather the storm!
And when you weather the storm, you aren’t doing it from behind You want to get in ahead of the storm.
1. Embrace Effective Expression
Just as calmness follows a storm, open and honest communication can dissipate the intensity of conflicts. Remember the wisdom of Proverbs 15:1, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” It is crucial to listen attentively, empathize with one another’s perspectives, and express thoughts and feelings in a respectful manner. Aim to address issues promptly, focusing on finding solutions rather than dwelling on the problem itself. AND…you have to know when to talk about it. What you are looking for is common ground to come together so you can work in a manner that supports each other.
2. Build a Foundation of Trust and Forgiveness
Trust is the bedrock upon which all thriving marriages are built, and forgiveness serves as the healing balm to mend any cracks that may emerge. As Ephesians 4:32 reminds us, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Prioritize the practice of forgiveness even during stormy times, allowing for growth, healing, and the restoration of trust. You’ve got to forge the walls to your marriage with trust and forgiveness.
Let’s say you’ve experienced infidelity in your marriage, which threatened to end your marriage in divorce. Obviously, trust is an issue. However, through seeking counseling and engaging in open conversations, you all decide to move forward as a couple, choosing to forgive and work towards rebuilding trust. Each day, you make conscious efforts to rebuild your relationship on a foundation of trust, transparency, and forgiveness.
3. Seek Professional Guidance and Support
Just as sailors rely on navigational tools during a storm, seeking professional guidance can provide the necessary direction and strength to navigate marital challenges. Professional counselors, therapists, or trusted spiritual mentors can provide valuable insights, tools, and perspectives to help couples weather the storm and emerge stronger on the other side.
Your marriage is not immune to the storms that life brings, but remember that with faith, resilience, and intentional actions, you can triumph over adversity.
PRAYER: Psalm 107:29 proclaims, “He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed.” May the Lord bless your marriage.
“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“
#RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Photo by Canva.com
Music by Mandisa – Overcomer
http://www.mandisaofficial.com
Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music –
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.
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