Most parents want what’s best for their kiddos. Oftentimes, parents set high expectations, basically raising the bar so they will turn out better than themselves.

Who doesn’t want to empower their child to soar to new heights?

However, setting those expectations can come with a cost. Now, sometimes it’s worth the cost, but how do you know?

Are you doing what’s right for your child, or is what you are doing actually stunting your child?

I was reading a prayer from Timothy Keller who is an American pastor and theologian who’s written many books, and it really took me back. Honestly, I was getting ready for my son to come home and visit from his internship for the holiday weekend, and so obviously, I made a parent-child connection.

“If you love anything at all in this world more than God, you will crush that object under the weight of your expectations, and it will eventually break your heart. ~ Timothy Keller, prayer”

As I began to break it down, I couldn’t help but think how my expectations could actually be hurting my child. And not that I meant to. But what is really best for your child? Because when they fail, we hurt.

The way you raise up your child has an incredible impact, good or bad. And who wants to crush their child? No one!!! We want our children to succeed and experience more success than we had growing up.

Yet, what we think might be good for our children, maybe it’s more for us than them.

How do you know the magnitude of the power of your expectations for your child will set them up for success?

You’ve gotta build stairways, not walls.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Build stairways, not walls!

Expectations play a significant role in shaping the lives of our children. However, it is essential to approach this power with wisdom and balance. The Bible often speaks about the significance of guiding and training up our children.

Proverbs 22:6 ~ “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it.”

Establishing a strong foundation rooted in faith and virtuous values enables our children to navigate life’s challenges with integrity, intentionality, and direction.

Lead with Unconditional Love:

Central to our role as parents is the unconditional love we have for our children. The Bible repeatedly emphasizes the power of love in nurturing growth and development. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we are reminded of the characteristics of love: patience, kindness, protection, trust, and perseverance. By embracing these qualities,  it allows us to create an atmosphere of acceptance and support, where our children can explore their passions, make mistakes, and learn valuable life lessons without fear. Again, you are building the stairway, not the wall.

Guide with Grace:

Our expectations should be grounded in grace, understanding, and empathy, rather than imposing unattainable standards. Perfection does not work! The Bible encourages us to be patient and compassionate in guiding our children.

Ephesians 6:4 ~ “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Avoid harshness and instead parent with discipline that fosters growth, discipline infused with love and understanding.

Recognize Individuality:

Just as each of us is unique, so are our children. So celebrate individuality and honor the diverse talents and gifts bestowed upon your children.

Romans 12:6 ~ “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.” By nurturing their individual passions, interests, and strengths, you will equip your children to discover their true potential and pursue their unique calling.

Building Character and Resilience:

This is where balance comes in. Your expectations should not only focus on achievements but also on character development and resilience. Trials and challenges are essential for building strength and character.

James 1:2-4 ~ “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”

By instilling a growth and abundance mindset within your children, you teach them to embrace challenges, learn from setbacks, and develop the resilience needed to navigate life’s obstacles; what’s getting in the way.

Mom, Dad– we hold the privilege and responsibility of shaping our children’s lives. You have got to be willing to set your expectations to the side and tap into what God has in store for your child.

You can’t build a stairway of greatness on your own strength. You need God to do the impossible.

So by harnessing the power of expectations rooted in biblical principles, you can become agents of growth and empowerment, fueling your child’s journey towards greatness.

Get on your knees.

By embracing love, wisdom, and grace, you create an environment where our children can thrive and fulfill their God-given potential.

Don’t think you’ve got it all under control. Approach parenting with humility. Keep your family rooted in God’s Word. And as you train them up with good ethics and morals, and biblical teachings, and become the catalysts for their stairway to greatness.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“