Now, if it’s a blood or flood moment, then you may have to be a little more direct in your discipline and response to their actions.

However, I want to challenge you to think outside the box. What if you were cool, calm, and collected?

A Poem from My Grandma, Jan Bass (By K.J. Ramsey, The Book of Common Courage)

I searched and search
And could not find
A single place for rest
Until the hand of Jesus
Drew me close unto His breast.

He said, My little child,
I see in you no blame.
You are of My choosing. You’re the very reason I came.

I said, My Father God,
What with me would you then do?

And He said, Child, child of mine,
I want only to love you.

If there was only you
And I knew of no other,
Still I would come,
That I could be your brother.

You must begin with your own life-giving lives. It’s who you are, not what you say and do, that counts. Your true being brims over into true words and deeds. — Luke 6:34 MSG

You want to train up your child to know that regardless of what they do, you will still love them. Now, you also need to make it clear that it doesn’t mean you approve of everything they do.

But mom, dad… You are called to love unconditionally. To extend the grace that was extended to you by God.

There are moments in life when you need to just sit with your child. You need to let them feel their emotions and wrestle with the feelings, knowing that you are always going to love them.

But if your response to their mishaps and failures is all about what they did wrong, how will they ever feel they did right in your eyes?

Spill over with grace.

My daughter shared with me a story back in the day when she was in middle school. I don’t remember the details specifically, but she knew that I would not be happy with what happened. So instead of hiding whatever it was, she told me about it.

And then her life was changed. I remained very calm and approached her with a hug, holding her in the moment.

“Mom — I thought you were going to be so mad. You scared me to death.” Her thinking was that I would lay into her and get really mad. And when I didn’t, she was more scared.

Sometimes the sting of the event is worse than your disappointment in them.

Spill over with grace.