Surprise! That’s the farthest from the truth. Yes, many people get divorced, and that becomes the relief to the problems. However, if you don’t address the problems within your marriage, you’ll just carry them with you into the next relationship.

Quitting your marriage is not always the best thing.

In my life, my husband had given up on us and made the statement, “I’ve fallen out of love.”

I was taken aback and floored by his comment. At no point did I see this coming. He did a great job of hiding from what really was going on.

Immediately, what I knew to be true was all a lie.

That’s a harsh reality to be confronted with. However, that tornado which could have ended all that we had created together, did not.

Merely for the fact that I began the work. I began looking at my reflection. I began seeing who he saw. I began doing the hard work to make the changes needed.

Now, he had work to do too. Marriage is a two-way street and requires both individuals to come together.

But I couldn’t do the work for him. Regardless of what might happen, I was always going to be a mom of 5, a daughter, a sister, and a woman who loves to serve people and to love God.

This chapter in my life was for me to walk. No one could do it for me. However, one thing I knew was that there was still hope for our marriage. I never lost hope.

So when you look at your marriage and you begin to get frustrated and ready to throw in the towel, you have to figure out when to call it quits.

And that start from the inside out!

The K.I.S.S. ~ Start from the inside out?

This topic is very real. Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen called in quits, finalizing their divorce yesterday.

Now we don’t know what’s happened behind closed doors. But what this opens up is a safe place to begin the discussion as to what you can do.

Right? It’s not about your spouse doing everything. You have junk that you need to work through. We all do. So start from the inside out.

And this is where I really believe in coaching and counseling.

So let me give you a snapshot of what you can do today when you’re ready to call it quits.

1. Understand where the problems are in your marriage. That means you ask tough questions and have to listen to tough answers. You’re going to feel uncomfortable. You’re going to want to push back and say otherwise. But with growth comes pruning. So you have to be willing to look at everything; the good, the bad, and the ugly.
2. What are the stupid things you can let go of in your marriage? You may not like the toilet seat being up, but should that be a reason to get a divorce? You are keeping score. So you have to be willing to release the things that aren’t pivotal in your relationship. You can’t keep score. It will only bring more damage to your marriage. Now if you’re wanting to have a joy jar for everything that goes right, that’s a different conversation. Those are great! But scoring our of spite, you will be heading to the courthouse.
3. Love who you see in the mirror. You have to love yourself. It’s easy to act out when you don’t feel good about who you see in the mirror. And we do it so naturally, it’s almost scary. Be intentional about who you are becoming.

There are times where divorce is appropriate. But that’s not the conversation for today, and it is a very personal circumstance.

But on the flip side, there is a lot you can do to heal your marriage, even making way for reconciliation.

I’m proof. My husband and I are more in love now than ever. We dedicated our time and our hearts to do the work.

It’s not easy, but at least we didn’t have to make an announcement of a divorce.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“