Communication can be a blessing or can be very toxic. In your marriage, what does I’m fine really mean?
You know when you’re asked a question over and over again, you quickly respond, “I’m fine.”
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But in all seriousness, how fine are you? And it’s not about your beauty.
- Maybe you are fine because you don’t want to bring everyone else down into your bad day.
- Maybe you are just being difficult. You want a little more attention, so you are making your spouse work for it.
- Maybe you are fine because you are working through your own stuff, and need the space to do so.
When your spouse asks you how you are doing and is inquiring about your day or something that happened, throwing the “I’m fine” rapid response isn’t going to win you any bonus happy points.
You are playing a dangerous game challenging your spouse.
The problem is that you are not allowing your sweetheart the opportunity to help you. You are not just shutting the doors on his heart; you’re slamming the door! And sometimes locking it too.
Another sticking point is maybe you’re hope to getting more attention by making them work harder to get out whatever it is that you won’t open up about at first.
Keep playing this game of “I’m fine,” and see how it becomes more toxic in your marriage.
But I don’t want you to get to this point either. And if you think you have been playing this game, there is hope.
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Fine is a safety blanket for your feelings. You don’t have to be specific and you don’t have to give too many details. It’s an easy way to brush off any more possible damage or questions that could arise.
So whether you are trying to be difficult or are really wanting to be left alone, the result is usually worse than what you want. It begins to eat at your partner’s heart, and slowly a brick wall is created between the two of you.
There is no room in a sizzling marriage built on a strong foundation for “I’m fine.”!
Instead, if you feel something, say something!
The K.I.S.S. ~ Feel something, say something!
The way you communicate in your marriage continues to open the door of love, or will eventually challenge the core of your marriage.
- If something is bothering you, share it with your spouse. No more extra probing necessary.
- If you think your spouse should know you by now, think again. Assumptions are toxic. Therefore, lead with how you feel. Share your pain, your hurt, whatever you need to.
- If you think you want more attention, share openly and ask questions of your sweetheart.
Remember that when you committed to your spouse, you committed to communicate openly and honestly. The more you share, the deeper the marriage will grow.
“If you feel something, say something!”
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